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Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
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Does your e-mail sound "broygez" (angry),
"umetik" (sad), or sarcastic? The new "tone-checker" tells
you what impression your e-mail REALLY gives.
Lymbix Inc., which is based in New Brunswick, Canada, launched
ToneCheck.
This program scans emails and flags
sentences and phrases that might carry
unintended emotion.
The website "Technologizer" says, "For all
those times that an e-mail sounds better
("beser") in your head ("kop") than it does
to the recipient, ToneCheck thinks it can
help."
Jascha Hoffman (The New York Times Magazine, Dec. 19, 2010), gives
an axample
of ToneCheck:
I AM SORRY
WE EVER MET (deleted line)
Louis Peitzman gives a second example:
I DON'T CARE WHO YOU MARRY
JUST AS LONG AS HE'S A NICE
JEWISH BOY (deleted line)
F-a-s-t forward to the future. Perhaps
there will be a ToneCheck for Yiddishists.. Here's what it might
look like:
1. DON'T BE LONG WINDED
AND BORING (The second lines are omitted for a better impression)
"Hak nit keyn tshaynik."
2. GO THREATEN THE GEESE
BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THREATENING ME
"Gey strashe di gens."
3. DON'T TALK
NONSENSE
"Redt nit keyn narishkayt."
4. CHILDREN BRING GOOD FORTUNE
CHILDREN BRING MISFORTUNE
"Kinder brengen glik, kinder brengen
umglik."
5. LITTLE CHILDREN, LITTLE JOYS
BIG CHILDREN, BIG WORRIES
"Kleyne kinder, kleyne freydn:
groys kinder, groyse zorgn."
6. EVERYTHING IS GOOD
BUT ONLY IN ITS TIME
"Altz iz gut, nor in der tsayt."
7. THE GOOD ONES PAY UP
THE BAD ONES DEMAND
"Gute tsoln, shlekhte monen."
8. TALKING IS GOOD
BUT SILENCE IS BETTER
"Redn iz gut. Shvaygn iz beser"
9. IT'S EASY TO ACQUIRE AN ENEMY
IT'S DIFFICULT TO ACQUIRE A FRIEND
"Gring iz tsu krign a soyne;
Shver iz tsu krign a fraynd."
10. AS LONG AS YOU'RE HEALTHY
YOU CAN ALWAYS KILL YOURSELF
"Abi gezunt dos lbebn ken men zikh
ale mol nemen."
11. THE BILL IS HERE
BUT THE MONEY IS NOT
"Der rekhening iz do;
ober does gelt iz nito."
12. HE CRAWLS
LIKE A BEDBUG
"Er krikht vi a vants."
13. HE TALKS
FROM TODAY UNTIL TOMORROW
"Er redt fun haynt biz morgn."
14. CRAZY PARENTS
CRAZY CHILDREN
"Meshugene gens,
Meshugene gribbenes.'
Also:
CRAZY FOWL
BAD CRACKLINGS
15. JUST SHOW ME WHO DID THIS
AND TOMORROW WILL BE A FUNERAL
"Du viez mir nar ver hot does getohn
un morgen vet zain a levayeh."
And my favorite Yiddish expression for
ToneCheck software mavens:
16. THEY BOTH HAVE LOVE
HE FOR HIMSELF AND SHE FOR
HERSELF.
"Zey hobn zikh beyde lib;
er zikh un zi zikh."
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Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe agrees with
Jared Newman that ToneCheck is
"just a teacher, designed to stop people
from writing e-mails they'll regret later.
If that makes the world--or your inbox--a
better place, I'm all for it."
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