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The Yiddish word for “litigation” is “litageyshan.”
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So Sue Me is used as a response in situations where someone is criticized for some antisocial or illegal activity and wants to display their lack of concern. It’s as if they’re saying ‘Okay, I know it’s wrong but you’ll get no apology from me. If you want to take it further, go to law.’
In the B’way musical, “Guys and Dolls,” there’s a song “Sue me, Sue me.”
Larry, the Cable Guy, is suing a Mississippi gas station (“gaz stantsye”) for jacking his famous “Git-R-Done” catchphrase and slapping it all over its storefront, highway (“shosey”) billboards and even merchandise.
In the lawsuit, Larry says he has the trademark on his famous standup comedy (“komedie”) tagline, and the Giterdone gas station in Diamondhead, MS, is trying to capitalize off his shtick.
Larry wants all the profits from that gear. He also wants the rest of the inventory with the phrase to be destroyed.
A second lawsuit: In May of 2015, police officer (“politsyant”), Matthew Kohr, sued Starbucks for $750,000 after he spilled his FREE coffee and got burned.
Kohr feels he should be compensated for burns, blister and emotional damage for the spill, which took place in 2012.
Kohr says the lid popped off a cup of coffee he ordered at a Raleigh Starbucks and the cup collapsed. He claims the incident caused such severe stress that it activated his Crohn’s disease, which resulted in surgery.
His wife claims that she lost a “source of emotional support,” her social companion and her intimate partner.
The jury decided 10 - 2 NOT to award damages to the police officer. Defense attorneys argued that Kohr was battling with illness and anxiety prior to the incident.
Note: Per Starbucks’ policy, Kohr received 50 cups of FREE coffee over two months for being in uniform. In order for Kohr to accept it under department guidelines, he placed the equivalent amount of the cost of the coffee in the tip jar on every occasion.
Another interesting suit was by a 37-year-old former Hasidic Jew. He is suing the Quebec government for $1.25 million (U.S. $1.1 million) for allowing the ultra-Orthodox schools he attended in the province to teach him nothing (“gornisht”) of use in the non-Haredi world.
“I feel like a six year old, alone in the world, who doesn’t have parents, who doesn’t have somebody to take care of him. I feel even worse (“erger”) than that child because that child only has to take care of himself, but I have to take care of my four children.”
Yohanan Lowen told thestar.com that he left Quebec’s community in 2010 and moved with his family to Montreal. He says he is an illiterate person (“analfabet”). He’s illiterate in French, doesn’t know the alphabet, and understands only the basic math. He earns a little money teaching Aramaic at a secular night school, and otherwise supports his family on his monthly welfare check.
Lowen says the Hasidic schools he attended didn’t require him to learn French, English, math, science, history or any other secular subject. School officials told him that any time spent studying anything but Jewish religious texts was time wasted, he added.
Another interesting suit involved the 2nd Avenue Deli. But before we get to that, let’s see what David Sax (“Save the Deli”) had to say about the Florida deli business. So much of Florida’s deli business is seasonal. At some Florida delicatessens seasonal clients (who stay from Thanksgiving until Passover) add an additional 30 percent or more to sales.
“A large number of deli owners and workers in Florida are also in various stages of their golden years. Most come to retire and soon found themselves working harder than ever...How much golf can you play? How much bull....can you talk? That’s the plight of 99% of people here who have retired. Men migrate around Florida like flamingos...
With owners and customers who are cantankerous and counting down the days, the atmosphere is decidedly grouchy (“groutshi”). Florida Jewish deli owners didn’t know about other delis, didn’t like talking about other delis, and certainly didn’t associate with other deli owners. If Los Angeles taught me that the overall health of a deli community could benefit from friendly relation between Jewish delicatessens, Florida demonstrated that it can ruin a town for deli.
Florida also tends to be dominated by bagel-delis. These are combined bagel bakeries, appetizing stores, dairy restaurants, and delicatessens.
Who can forget the Rascal House, the most famous deli south of New York. The restaurant was located at the intersection of 172nd Street and Collins Avenue in Sunny Isles, Florida. OMG (Oh, My God), it’s gone! Some people used to say, “The place was built with a line.” Every time you go there, there was a wait.
Damon Runyon said, “As I see it, there are two kinds of people in this world: people who love delis, and people you shouldn’t associate with.”
So, all deli owners in Florida talked about how the Second Ave. Deli beat a Vegas-based burger chain in a court fight over the names of its artery (“arterye”)-clogging cuisine.
In May 2011, the Second Ave. Deli, a kosher deli in Manhattan, sued Las Vegas-based Heart Attack Grill in a dispute over the deli’s “Instant Heart Attack” sandwich and its plans to introduce a “Triple Bypass” sandwich. Before the suit was filed, the Heart Attack Grill sent a cease-and-desist letter claiming the sandwiches violated the trademarks for its various “Bypass” burgers.
The deli’s Instant Heart Attack is two latkes (or potato pancakes) filled with corned beef, pastrami, turkey or salami. The “Instant Heart Attack” is made of sliced pastrami and fried potato latkes and costs $24.95. Calories: 804.
The N. Y. deli says that it has been selling its version of the sandwich (2 lg. potato latkes, with a choice of corned beef, pastrami, turkey or salami piled high)--since 2004. The Arizona eatery opened in 2005.
The Daily News (5/10/2011) wrote, “There is no way that the ‘Instant Heart Attack Sandwich’ could possibly be confused with the ‘Triple Bypass Burger,’ said Jeremy Lebrwohl.
The Second Avenue Deli won the heart attack sandwich lawsuit. The judge ruled that the deli can now serve its meat-stuffed monster under that name, and they can introduce a “Triple Bypass Sandwich,” which includes “everything but the kitchen sink.”
BTW, the Las Vegas restaurant had “tsuris”: A customer actually had a
heart attack in the restaurant. The woman collapsed at a table while
eating a Doublebypass burger, smoking cigarettes, and having a Martini.
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MARJORIE WOLFE agrees with Abraham Lincoln on the topic of suing someone: “Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser in fees, expenses and waste of time.”
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