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Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
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The Yiddish word for sex is "geshlekht." It is not etymologically related to "shlekht," which means bad. In fact, in Judaism, sex is seen as a positive act, and it is even a "mitzvah" for MARRIED COUPLES to have sex on Shabbos.
The Yiddish word for education is "khinukh."
According to David Halberstam ("The Fifties"), "Way back in the mid ‘50s, "televisye" (television) portrayed a wonderfully antiseptic world of idealized homes in an idealized, unflawed America...There were no drugs. Keeping a family car out too late at night seemed to be the height of insubordination. No family difference was so irreconcilable that it could not be cleared up and straightened out within the allotted twenty-two minutes." In Ozzie and Harriet, Ozzie often got his children's simplest intentions wrong, when for example, he decided that David, his older son, was going to elope with his girlfriend. Ozzie raced to the justice of the peace's office only to learn that David was there to pay a speeding ticket.
And in "Leave It to Beaver," the family always ate together. The pies were homemade, and Beaver--the rascal--had a predilection for trouble. He once told mom, "You know, Mom, when we make a mess, you kind of make things seem not so messy." Her reply, "Isn't that sort of what mothers are for?"
Yes, the family sitcoms of the mid- and late fifties had no Greeks, no Italians, and no Jews--only Americans. It was a world of Andersons and Nelsons and Cleavers. There was no sex education in the scripts.
And when Lucy becomes pregnant, ("I Love Lucy", 1952), pregnant women had just not been seen in films or on TV. A pregnant ("shvanger") comedienne seemed to be in especially bad taste. CBS lined up a priest, a minister, and a rabbi to review ("iberkukn") all pregnancy scripts to be sure that they were in good taste. What puritanical times!!!
Kids today have more exposure to sex through TV, radio, Internet, print and word of mouth. No more sex education while sitting on the stoop!
Bob Greene said [1978], "Sex education in the old days, used to consist of a nervous ("nervez") high school teacher standing in front of a class room of giggling students and talking about the birds and the bees."
The late Sam Levenson once was giving a "lektsye" (lecture) at a P.T.A. meeting. He told parents that they should tell their children about sex when they're old enough to understand and before they're old enough to do what they already did." Regarding sex education in schools, Levenson said, "Let them teach it! If the schools teach sex education the way they teach everything else, the kids will lose interest anyway."
Actor/comedian, Morty Gunty, said, "Sex should not be taught in schools, unless the teacher really wants to learn. They always had sex education in public schools, only it used to be called RECESS."
Goldie Hawn said, "I'm against sex education in schools--what those kids need is a book on how to avoid it."
Billy Crystal ("700 Sundays") wrote about how he and his mother had the birds and the bees speech. He was just about to get on a plane at LaGuardia Airport, Eastern Airlines, Gate 33, headed off to Huntington, West Virginia, to attend college. This was their 18-word conversation:
"Billy, dear, before you go, about the girls--"
"Mom, I know."
"I'm so glad we had this talk."
Dr. Ruth Westheimer, sex therapist, is the author of approximately 39 books on sex and continues to dispense frank "eytse" (advice) as she has since her first radio show, "Sexually Speaking" in 1980. With her trademark German "aktsent" (accent) she talks from morning to night about how sex has helped her skiing, because "I talk about movement, about looking good, and taking risks." One quote: "You'll never forget your first lover so try to make it someone you won't regret."
Steven Solomon, stand-up comedian, has a new show titled, "My Mother's Italian, My Father's Jewish and I'm Home for the Holidays." Yes, Steve is thrown together with his dysfunctional family. Note: The late Sylvia Schildt called such a family, "a meshpokhe mit af tsores" or "mit problemen." The therapy continued! Peace on earth, good will towards men, batteries not included and where's the plunger?"
In his previous show, "My Mother's Italian, My Father's Jewish, and I'm in Therapy," Steve says that he's half Italian--the bottom half! He says that his mom, Angelina, is from Italy and she's old-world Italian. His dad's from Russia and came to the U. S. when he was 14. He met his wife at an Italian restaurant in Italy. Mom was a bouncer. Dad said, "From the first day I met your mother, she always chased me." Steve concludes: "He probably didn't leave a tip. He probably stiffed her."
Steve says that his mom gets easily confused ("tsemisht"). Based on the answers she gave to these questions, SHE really needs some sex education:
"Do all animals have testicles ("baitsim")?
"No, just the octopus."
"Grandma, what's a fallopian tube?"
"It's part of a TV set."
"Do you know that it takes 400 million sperm to fertilize one egg?"
"They don't stop and ask directions."
"What are genitals?"
"These are people who are not Jewish."
Mara Yacobi, a Licensed Social Worker and Certified Sexuality Educator,
believes that sex education is important not only in low-income communities with high rates of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted
infections (STis), but also in our relatively privileged and sheltered Jewish
community. "Contrary to stereotype, Jewish teens do become pregnant
in high school, they are susceptible to contracting STis, and they are sexually abused. Statistics, however, are difficult to come by, as many
cases are ‘hushed up' or ‘taken care of' while a student is studying in
Israel or abroad." (Yaobi has heard countless stories in workshops
from girls who ended up in abusive relationships in Israel because they
were under the naive misconception that "Jewish men are safe.")
Source: "Why Jewish Kids Need Values-Based Sex Ed"
The Jewish Educator, Winter 2013
Sara Diament wrote a book titled, "Talking to Your Children About Intimacy: A Guide for Orthodox Jewish Parents." The following excerpt is from this book:
"I remember the morning that my children and I were sitting around the breakfast table enjoying our cereal and milk. Conversation turned to the fact that three of my children and I like milk with our cereal, one of my sons, like my husband, does not. At this point I said, "I guess he got Abba's cereal genes." My then nine-year-old stopped eating for a second and was quiet. He then said, ‘If Avrami grew in your belly--how did he get Abba's genes?' Oh boy, I thought. I didn't think I'd be having this conversation quite yet. As I began to answer, I remembered to proceed slowly. I said casually, ‘Well, it takes a part of the Abba and a part of the Imma [father and mother] to make a baby. And then I was silent.You should know that my son is extra ordinarily inquisitive and I was ready for a barrage of questioning. But, all he said was, ‘Oh, yeah, I know all about that.' And with that he ended the conversation and went back to eating his breakfast."
Get the book; it's fascinating reading!
Marjorie Wolfe vividly remembers the day that she was driving her [adopted] sons to Hebrew school. Another passenger, 12-year-old, Mark, asked, "in mitn derinen" (right in the middle of everything), "Are you guys going to look for your REAL PARENTS when you grow up?"
I sat quietly as my son said, "Don't ask me any questions" ("Freg mir nit keyn kashes") NOW! I'm listening to the baseball ("beyzbol") game."
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MARJORIE GOTTLIEB WOLFE will be giving lectures this winter in Boynton Beach, Delray Beach, Boca Raton, West Palm Beach and Lake Worth, Florida. Check your local library to see when she will be performing.
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