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THAT IS THE QUESTION
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
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Mrs. Levy was opening her mail. It contained the latest issue of the Forward
and the New York Post, which says that John Cardinal O’Connor, the beloved
late archbishop of New York, had a grandfather who was likely a rabbi and a kosher
butcher. “Ver volt dos geglaibt?” (Who would have believed it?)
Then she came upon a fancy-shmancy wedding invitation.
“Morty,” she called her husband, “Seth is marrying Rachel Greenberg. The announcement just came.”
Morty scrutinized the invitation and handed it back. “Ve ain’t going,” he said tartly.
“Why not?” asked the surprised Mrs. Levy.
“First because it’s being held at Oheka Castle in Huntington, New York , and it’s NOT KOSHER. Secondly, it’s BLACK TIE, and I’m not renting a tuxedo. And, don’t nag me!”
Mrs. Levy mutters, “Az ikh zog tog, zogt er nakht.” (If I say day, he says night.)
Morty continues, “And what a nerve to send such an invitation. Just look at that R.S.V.P. You call that good manners?”
“What’s wrong with those letters? What do they stand for?”
“Don’t you know?” stormed Morty. “They mean REMEMBER SENDING VEDDING PRESENTS!”
In a Pugh cartoon, a husband and wife are at the dinner table. The husband asks, “Is there something wrong, dear? You haven’t nagged at me all evening?”
And, finally, Proverbs 21:9 (New Int’l Version) says, “Better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
The headines read:
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ARE WOMEN NAGGING HUSBANDS TO DEATH?
RESEARCH SHOWS HENPECKED MEN TWICE AS
LIKELY TO DIE YOUNG.
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Yes, scientists in Denmark claim to have proven that bickering couples are more likely to die “yung”(young) and henpecked men are twice as likely to die in middle age. Men who are subjected to nagging, constant demands and worries from their partners are twice as likely to die young than blokes who are less henpecked.
Leo Rosten (“Hooray For Yiddish”) describes a “nudzh” as one who pesters, nags, annoys. (“He may be good-hearted, but what a nudzh!”)
About 10,000 men and women, aged 36 to 52, from Denmark were questioned about who made the most demands on them and caused the most conflict.
The results: Researchers found that out of every 100,000 people, 315 deaths could be caused by spousal demands and worries. Why is this? Dr. Rikke Lund suggested that men have fewer people in their social life and so less people to share their worries with. Therefore, “Their partner (“shutef”) is more important to them in a relatively small social network.”
Women appeared immune to nagging as there was little effect on their death rate.
The researchers said men tended to respond to stress by creating higher levels of the hormone cortisol, which is linked to poor health.
The study suggests that going to work (“arbet”) could provide relief from a stressful relationship because men who are unemployed and frequently nagged were even more likely to die. “Di shvereste arbet iz arum tsu geyn leydik.” (The hardest work is to be idle.)
So, the next time that certain someone in your life, “significant other,” live-in-lover says, “You’re killing me with all that nagging,” you might want to listen. Her nor! (Listen!) And do as Jeffrey Gentry says: “Don’t forget to sign the Mother’s Day card, paint that new door you hung last year and get the oil changed on the car.”
Source: Jeffrey Gentry, The News Journal, May 9, 2014
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MARJORIE GOTTLIEB WOLFE agrees with the following following Yiddish expression:
“A PATSH FARHAILT ZICH UN A VORT GEDENKT ZICH.”
(A SLAP HEALS BUT A HARSH WORD IS REMEMBERED.)
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