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“ iz shoyn oyf yener velt” means [she’s] already in another world
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
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Brian Cavanaugh (“The Sower’s Seeds - 120 Inspiring Stories for Preaching, Teaching and Public Speaking”) tells a story titled, “Heaven and Hell.”
A man spoke with the Lord about heaven and hell. “I will show you hell,” said the Lord, and they went into a room that had a large pot of stew in the middle. The smell was delicious, but around the pot sat desperate people who were starving. All were holding spoons with very long handles that reached into the pot, but because the handle of the spoon was longer than their arm, it was impossible to get the stew into their mouths. Their suffering was terrible.
“Now I will show you heaven,” said the Lord, and they went into another room identical to the first one. There was a similar pot of delicious stew, and the people had the same long-handled spoons, but they were well- nourished, talking and happy. At first the man did not understand. “It is simple,” said the Lord. “You see, they have learned to feed each other.”
A second story:
A very pious rebbe dies and goes to heaven. The “ersht” (first) day, an angel brings him a bowl of plain cholent and a “glezel tai” (a glass of tea).
While eating, the rebbe sees down into Hell where people are dining on
brisket of beef, with cherry strudel for dessert. On the “tsveyter” (second)
day the Angel again brings the same meal. Down in Hell, the rebbe notices
they’re feasting on kishka and kasha, “aprikos” (apricot) kugel, and chocolate rugelach.
Unable to contain himself, the rebbe demands of the angel:
“How come they’re eating so well down there, while all I get is cholent and ‘varem’ (warm) tea?”
“Nu? What can you expect?” replies the angel. “I should work to cook for only ‘tsvey’ (2) people?”
I guess this Yiddish food proverb also applies: “Az men hot broyt, vil men koyletsh.” (When one has bread, one wants challah.)
“Der komike” (comedienne), Sarah Silverman, took on the role of the late Joan Rivers on SNL; she showed how “tragedye” (tragedy) can become “komedie” (comedy).
In a week when the newspaper headlines discussed Ebola, an explosive lawsuit against bestselling pulp novelist, Nicholas Sparks--who is accused of being an anti-Semitic bully--and the resignation of Secret Service director, Julia Pierson, Silverman paid tribute to Joan Rivers.
In her tribute she imagined the “Fashion Police” pioneer getting into heaven...and roasting “yeder eyner” (everyone) she met. The celebrities included Freddie Mercury, Ben Franklin, Lucille Ball, and Steve Jobs.
Silverman as Rivers tells Jobs: “Steve, I hope you’re forced to buy a newer, better casket every six months so you can see how we feel, am I right? “ (She is referring to Apple’s constant product launches and updates.)
She also refers to the episode where Lucille Ball works in a “tsukerl” (candy) factory. Perhaps you recall this episode:
Most people call this the “chocolate factory episode,” but the girls’ place of employment was named Kramer’s Kandy Kitchen (KKK?) Ricky and Fred think doing housework is much easier than earning money. Lucy and Ethel (Vivian Vance) feel “der heypekh” (the opposite). So the boys try doing the housework while the girls attempt to hold down a job. Who can forget the scene when the conveyor belt gets too fast and Lucy and Ethel start eating candies to prevent any from going through unwrapped.
And remember when Lucille Ball hams it up while splashing around in chocolate, dealing with an itch (“baysenish”), and chasing a “flig” (fly) around the room. It’s “vunderlekh”--wonderful!
What Sarah Silverman didn’t share with us was the first bad notice that Joan Rivers received. Off Broadway Reviewers said:
There are two main things amiss with Miss Rivers’s approach: Her material is tired and her delivery is frenetic. The several songs she offers are very local, bounded by the range of the NYC subways. The Bronx, the suburbs, Coney Island, have been done, and Miss Rivers has nothing fresh to offer on these topics. Then, having gotten her material, she strains hard to put it over, as if her bright energy could somehow embellish the skeletal comedy. But her frantic and strained efforts are only nerve-racking and do not disguise, but rather point up, the material’s essential aridity.” (Source: “Enter Laughing” by Joan Rivers with Richard Meryman)
OY! Were they wrong!
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