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MAYBE NOW THEY'LL LISTEN!
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
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Q. Have you ever been on a road trip where "der kinder" (the children) are screaming at each other in the back seat?
Babies/little ones ("pitsilech") get cranky and the "tsenerlingn" (teenager) gets tired of being cooped up with "yunger" (younger) siblings. Whether you're on the way to Grandma's for Passover or turkey day, or headed for Disneyland, you've probably said, "Don't make me come back there..." You may even have thought of the Yiddish proverb, "A baizeh tsung iz erger fun a shlechter hant" (A wicked tongue is worse than an evil hand.)
The solution: you had to turn around or yell loudly "Sha! Shveig!" in an attempt to get them to behave.
At this point, you had several choice Yiddish expressions available to you:
. "A sof, an ek!"
(That's enough--stop it!"
. "Du farkirtst mit di yorn."
(You'll be the death of me.)
. "Makh a sof!"
(Stop it! Make an end!)
. "Zol zein shtil!"
(Silence)
. "Loz mich tzu ru!"
(Let me be in peace.)
If you remained "ruik" (calm), you could quietly say to your spouse, "Makh nit keyn tsimes fun dem" (Don't make a fuss about it.)
Or, you could simply "Gib zikh a shokl"--go a little faster...and get there sooner.
You could "Gey shray gevald" (yell for help)...but it won't help at all.
Or you could quietly ask the children, "Vos tut zikh"? (What's going on?)
Now there's a minivan that makes it easier to yell. Yes, an "oytomobile" company found a feature to deal with this problem. Toyota's Sienna minivan offers the "Driver Easy Speak." With the simple press of a button on the stereo, your voice broadcasts over the rear ("hinten") speakers for your children to hear.
They'll no longer be able to say, "I DIDN'T HEAR YOU."
If you're "bazorgt" (worried) your children may talk back to you, have no fear With "Driver Easy Speak," the communication is only a one-way trip.
"Der prayz" (The price) has not been announced. Oh, and another "vunderlekh" (wonderful) option is a "pull-down conversation mirror" that lets drivers check on kids without turning around.
Whatever gadgets you buy, "For gezunterhait!" (Travel in good health.)
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MARJORIE WOLFE no longer has to concern herself with disruptive children in
the back seat of her car. They're all grown up. She DOES have to deal with what Bill Cosby calls "passenger abuse."
Cosby writes, "So one day I was in the passenger seat--Jason was driving--and I experienced what I call ‘passenger abuse.'
Now this man will get into the left-lane of any highway, freeway, anywhere, and he will drive in that left lane forever. He just gets in the left lane and stays there.
So here he is in the left lane. Her I am, an innocent passenger. Cars are passing us on the right, blinking their lights, beeping their horns. People are driving erratically, pulling out from behind us, pulling up beside us. And here's where the passenger abuse comes from. The people who have to pass us on the right, they're angry. But they make faces at ME. I get fingers. There was one woman, she drove alongside us for maybe seven miles, just yelling, yelling, yelling. But my friend just kept looking straight ahead while I took all the abuse.
I tried to be nice to my friend...So I very nicely said to him, ‘You know, Jason, there's a lot of people passing us on the right.'
And, with a very straight face, keeping his eyes on the road, he pointed to his speedometer and he said: ‘Those people are speeding.'" (Source: "Cosbyology - Essays and Observations from the Doctor of Comedy" by Bill Cosby)
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