the schmooze
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York

These Yiddish words are included in the article which follows:

"shlogn" means "to hit"
"antshuldiikn" means "to excuse"
"zets" means "punch"
"briken" means "the kick"
"varfn" means "to throw"

According to Kurt Stevens (July 31, 2014), "We witness incident after incident where pro sports turn a blind eye to the abuse of women by these larger than life athletes....When a man uses a woman for a punching bag, he is nothing ("gornit") more than a bully."

Domestic and intimate partner violence:

Domestic violence is when one person in a relationship purposely hurts another person physically or emotionally. Domestic violence is also known as "intimate partner" violence.

In the U. S., more than 5 "milyon" (million) women are abused by an intimate partner each year.  Physical abuse consists of hitting, shoving, kicking, biting, or throwing things.

Is there a profile of men who batter their partners?  Domestic violence crosses all social and economic boundaries.  Dr. Susan Hanks says, "men batter because of internal psychological struggles.  Usually, men who batter are seeking a sense of power ("koyakh") and control over their partners or their own lives, or because they are tremendously dependent on ("onkumen tsu") the woman and are threatened by any moves on her part toward independence...Some men grew up in violent households, where they watched their mothers abused by their fathers and where they themselves were abused."
Note:  The Yiddish has been added by Marjorie Wolfe.   (Source:  "No Safe Place:  Violence Against Women")

In 2012, USA Today reporter, David Leon Moore, said, "NFL players say they need to own guns for protection, and that hasn't changed despite the Jovan Belcher shootings."  If you recall, Kansas City player, Belcher, killed himself after murdering his girlfriend, leaving their newborn daughter behind.

Some athletes estimate ("shatsn") that more than half of their teammates own at least one gun.  (Source:

Is their domestic violence among Jews?  Toby Myers, who serves on the Jewish Advisory board to Faith Trust Institute, said, "There are a lot of myths about Jewish women and domestic violence--that Jewish women do NOT experience domestic abuse, and because of that, they deny the reality."

Shalva is a local social service agency where women can turn to for help.  They specialize in working with abuse victims in the Jewish community.  Shalva has helped over 4,000 Jewish women since 1986. They offer free confidential domestic abuse services and counseling to the Chicago Jewish women.  Someone said, "When Shalva first opened, ‘if a woman told her rabbi, friend or mother [they were being abused], they were told, ‘This isn't happening.  This is your fault.  You need to go home and do better.'  Today they are going to say this is not OK."

What athletes have been involved in domestic and intimate partner violence?  Here are just a handful of examples:

Ray Rice, the professional American football running back for the Baltimore Ravens.  He was seen dragging his unconscious ("farkhalesht") fiancee out of an elevator in Atlantic City's Revel Casino, moments after cops say they attacked each other on the property. 

"Di frage" (The question):  How was this NFL player suspended for only two games for this violence?  And, secondly, how did his fiancee marry him, a day after the indictment?

In 1995, football star, O. J. Simpson, was tried on two counts of murder after the deaths of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and a waiter ("kelner"), Ronald Lyle Goodman.  Note:  A women's shelter, Sojourn, received a call from Nicole Brown four days prior to the murders saying that she was scared of her ex-husband whom she believed was stalking her.

In 2011, boxer,  Floyd Mayweather, Jr. pleaded guilty to a reduced battery domestic violence charge and no contest to two harassment charges for hitting his ex-girlfriend, Josie Harris.  Mayweather made $105 million during the past 12 months for 72 minutes of work in the ring.  In 2014, he topped the list as the highest paid athlete of the year.

Former NBA player, JR Rider was arrested in Arizona for pushing his girlfriend to the ground in a dispute over money.

In 2011, Manny Ramirez was charged with battery and arrested for hitting his wife's head into their bed's headboard.

 Football player, Andre Rison, was said to put his hands on the late Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez.

Jason Kidd, the Hall of Fame  bound point guard was called a "serial abuser" by his ex-wIfe, Jomouna Kidd.

Brandon Marshall, the Chicago Bears receiver, was accused of punching a woman outside of a NYC club.  The year before, his wife was arrested for stabbing him at home.

In 2010, Matt Barnes, then LA Laker and current LA Clipper was arrested under suspicion of domestic violence.

In 2009, Shawne Merriman, the former NFL star, was accused of choking his then girlfriend, Tila Tequila.

Adam ("Pacman") Jones, pleaded guilty ("shuldik") to assaulting a woman outside of a Cincinnati bar.

In 2005, Dwight Eugene ("Doc") Gooden, was arrested and charged with misdemeanor battery for punching his girlfriend after she threw a telephone at his head.

Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson, the unemployed wild receiver, was accused of head butting his ex-wife, Evelyn Lozada

And, in 2007, Michael Vick was an animal ("khaye") abuser who served time and lost a $100 million contract.  He's "A hunt mit oygn"--a mean character/a dog with eyes.

So, "Vos iz der untershte shure?"  (What's the bottom line?)
To those athletes who engage in domestic and intimate partner violence, "Shem zikh in dayn vaytn haldz."  (You should be ashamed of yourself./ You should be ashamed to the bottom of your throat.)


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Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:
yiddish for dog and cat loversbook
"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction?  Yiddish
Trivia."  To order a copy, go to her

NU, what are you waiting for?  Order the book!

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