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ADVICE:  CANCEL YOUR "KREDIT-KARTL" BEFORE YOU DIE

Note: The Yiddish words for credit card are "kredit-kartl"

by
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
marjorie
Syosset, New York

Men's retailer, M. J. Bale's, now produces "the world's most powerful suit" ("kostyum".) Imagine you pay for "lontsh" (lunch), with a mere flick of your stylishly attired wrist ("hantgelenk") across a payWave terminal.  The chip in the sleeve ("der arbl") is invisible.  They thought that by putting a Visa payWave-accessible chip in the cuff, you would not have so much clutter in your pockets that bulk out the suit and alter the form and drape the jacket.

The chip offers no ill-effect from dry cleaning.  Yes, "wearable technology is a really interesting part of our market," said Matt Jensen.

Credit cards are here to stay.  Why audiences at the 1994 movie, "The Flintstones," even got to hear Betty and Wilma say, "CHARGE IT!"

www.funny.com cautions us to be sure and cancel our "kredit-kartl" before we die.
The article shown below is just precious.  It's so easy to see this "telefon" (telephone) conversation taking place between a Citibank  employee and a Citibank  "koyne" (customer).  CAUTION:  "IT'S A FARSHLEPENISH"--A LONG DRAWN-OUT
MATTER.

A LADY DIED THIS PAST "YANUAR" (JANUARY) AND CITIBANK BILLED HER FOR "FEBRUAR" (FEBRUARY) FOR THEIR ANNUAL SERVICE CHARGE ON HER CREDIT CARD.  THEY ADDED LATE FEES AND INTEREST ON THE MONTHLY
CHARGE.  THE BALANCE HAD BEEN $0.00 WHEN SHE DIED, BUT NOW SOMEWHERE AROUND $60.00.  A FAMILY MEMBER PLACED A CALL TO CITIBANK.

HERE IS THE EXCHANGE:

Family Member:  "I am calling to tell you she died back in January."

Citibank:  "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Family Member:  "Maybe you should turn it over to collections."

Citibank:  "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."

Family Member:  "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

Citibank:  "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau,
maybe both!"

Family Member:  "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

Citibank:  "Excuse me?"

Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?"

Citibank:  "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."

SUPERVISOR GETS ON THE "TELEFON"
NOTE:  "OYKH MIR A MEYVN."  (LOOK WHO'S ACTING LIKE AN EXPERT.)

Family Member:  "I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance."

Citibank:  "The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply."

Family Member:  "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

Citibank:  (Stammer)  "Are you her lawyer?"

Family Member:  "No, I'm her great nephew."  (Lawyer information was given.)

Citibank:  "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Family Member:  "Sure."  (Fax number was given.)

AFTER THEY GET THE FAX

Citibank:  "Our system just isn't setup for death.  I don't know what more I can do
to help."

Family Member:  "Well if you figure it out, great!  If not, you could just keep billing
her. She won't care."

Citibank:  "Well, the late fees and charges still apply."
(What is wrong with these people?)

Family Member:  "Would you like her new billing address?"

Citibank: "That might help...."

Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."

Citibank:  "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Family Member:  "And what do you do with dead people on your planet???"

PRICELESS!!!
-------------------------------------------------------
MARJORIE GOTTLIEB WOLFE IS LOL.  SHE THINKS THEY'RE STILL LOOKING FOR THE MONEY.

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___________________________________________
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:
yiddish for dog and cat loversbook
"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction?  Yiddish
Trivia."  To order a copy, go to her
website: MarjorieGottliebWolfe.com

NU, what are you waiting for?  Order the book!

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