  
|
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
There's a new sitcom which centers on Charlotte Payne (Sophie Winkleman), one of 5 friends living in "Noo Yawk." The debut episode begins with Charlotte meeting a dating counselor (Michael Benjamin Washington). Charlotte is looking for love and has rejected multiple marriage proposals. She has yet to meet Mr. Right or, as we say in Yiddish, her "bashert."
Here's my "fuftsik" questions for the producer:
1. Is there any "emes" (truth)
to the
expression, "Boys are like buses, another
one will come around the corner in 5
minutes"?
2. Is there really a dating service named
"ChaiExpectations"?
3. Should Charlotte meet her "freynd" from
JDate at the new Brooklyn restaurant
named "Traif"? (It's located on the edge
of Hasidic Williamsberg!)
4. What are the chances of someone
meeting his/her "bashert" at the frozen
aisle section of Brachs Supermarket in
Lawrence, NY, or at a SuperSol?
5. Is "Almostmetjew.com" aimed mostly at
Conservative and Orthodox Jews?
6. Do most Jews find this joke "komish"
(funny)?
Shadchan: "Have I got a girl for
you!
She comes with a dowry of
ten thousand rubles."
Young man: "That sounds interesting.
Let me see her picture."
Shadchan: "Sorry, but with a ten-
thousand-ruble dowry we
never show pictures."
7. Did Jerry Seinfeld say, "A guy will say
anything to get a woman"?
8. Are all denominations welcome on
JDate?
9. Is there really a Yiddish expression that
says, "To a wedding walk; to a get, run"?
10. Can one really meet his/her "muzik"
(music) match on rocknrolldating.com?
11. Does JDate offer a discount/bulk rate
to rabbis who want to buy membership
accounts for their congregants?
12. Is the film, "You've Got Mail" about a
couple who met via the net?
13. Did this ad actually appear in an Israeli
newspaper:
Desperately seeking shmoozing! Retired senior citizen desires female companion for kvetching, kvelling, & krechtzing. Under 30 is also OK.
14. Did Chelsea Clinton meet Marc
Mezvinsky on JDate?
15. Is "a sheyne shidduch" a beautiful
match?
16. Does JDate really have an almost perfect
50:50 male to female ratio?
17. Is there any truth to the Yiddish saying,
"A shadkhn muz zayn a ligner"? (A
matchmaker must be a liar.)
18. Did Match.com report especially high
traffic on days when the Dow Jones
Industrial Average plummeted?
19. Did eHarmony promote itself as the
dating service your mother would
approve of?
20. Is it true that [as of 4/7/2010] Frumster
had had 1,664 matched members?
21. Are the 3 M's Meet, Mate, Multiply?
22. a) How can I join "8 Inning Dating" -
where you sit with a diffferent person
for each inning of a game?
b) Do I need to love "beysbol"?
c) Is it important to know that Roger
Maris hit 61 home runs in 1961?
23. Is there a dating site named
"YesNoMayB"?
24. Is matchmaking the world's second-
oldest profession?
25. Is there a matchmaker gene?
26. Did Bill O'Reilly say that one should
never use these ridiculous lines:
"Want to see my tattoo?"
"When I graduated from Vassar..."
27. What does it cost to join
"plentyoffish.com"?
28. Should I re-read Bruce Feirstein's
book, "Real Men Don't Bond"?
29. Is there really a website for single
farmers, "www.farmersonly.com"?
(Try breaking a date on account of a
sick steer!)
30. Should I memorize "The Ten Command-
ments of Jewish Dating"?
1. I am your girlfriend who brought
you out of the dating pool.
(Source: "Life, Love, Lox - Real World
Advice for the Modern Jewish Girl"by
Carin Davis)
31. Will I find a "mensch" on the website,
"SawYouAt Sinai"?
32. Did Carin Davis say, "Sometimes Jewish
dating feels a lot like dancing the Hora;
you just keep going in circles"?
33. Is everyone looking for a "sheyne
meydl" (pretty girl)?
34. Is this Yiddish expression true: "Bay a
shatkhn iz nito keyn miese kale"?
(With a matchmaker there's no homely
bride.)
35. Was the most famous "shatkhnte" in
modern times Yente, the Matchmaker in
the film version of "Fiddler on the
Roof"?
36. Was Rabbi Shmuley Boteach correct
when he said that "Jewish singles place
utmost importance on superficial
values--such as looks and money--when
seeking a lifelong mate"?
37. Does the website "True.com" run
criminal background checks on users/
subscribers to ensure that they had no
criminal record and were not married?
38. Is there a website named
"Shaynapunimdating.com"?
39. Did Rabbi Shmuley Boteach say, "Only
people with the right packaging get
noticed, and it's un-Jewish"?
40. Is it true that the co-author of "The
Rules" got divorced?
41. Does "intellidating" emphasize
intelligence, particularly attending
lectures, readings, or other cultural
events?
42. Is it true that computer-savvy Jewish
mothers are using JDate to find dates
for their adult children? (Some just log
on and pretend to be their children!)
(Source: "The PortableJewish Mother"
by Laurie Rozakis, PH.D.)
43. Does Manhattan have the highest
concentration of single-person house
holds in America, except for an island in
Hawaii settled as a leper colony?
44. Are 35% of the people who use personal
ads for dating already married?
45. Did Motel say to Tevye: "Please don't
shout at me, Reb Tevye. As for being my
own matchmaker, I know it's a little
unusual"?
46. Did Temple Chaverim in Plainview, NY,
present a performance of "Have I Got
A Guy for You: What Really Happens
When Mom Fixes You Up"?
47. Would you date someone who was born
under the sign "Tsuris"?
48. Do people really propose on the
JumboTron?
49. Is "Darwindating.com" a site which
accepts only good looking ("sheyn")
members?
50. Is it true that the late Wendy
Wasserstein's parents allowed her to
attend Yale in the hope that she would
meet a suitable Jewish man, preferably
an attorney, and settle down and
produce grandchildren for them?
| A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M |
| N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | Y | Z |
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:
"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction? Yiddish
Trivia." To order a copy, go to her
website: MarjorieGottliebWolfe.com
NU, what are you waiting for? Order the book!
| Yiddish
Stuff Jewish Humor Schmooze News More Majorie Wolfe |
Principle Jewish Stories All Things Jewish Jewish Communities of the World |
Haruth Communications