by Eva Gabay
Ben is a young man of about 32 who is well accomplished in his career and daily life. He has a wonderful wife Elisheva and three beautiful children, David, Sarah and Joshua. He is an observant Jew and attends Synagogue each week. He has recently bought a new house and moved his family across town to the more ritzy neighborhood. Ben grew up in a very poor area and worked hard to accomplish his dreams of becoming a prominent businessman in the community. As a teenager and young man Ben studied Torah diligently, he stayed up many nights seeking knowledge and insight into each Parsha. When Ben moved family to the other side of town, things were great at first, but slowly started to deteriorate. His wife, an avid supporter of his study of Torah, noticed that he had been neglecting his studies and paying more attention to the materialistic aspects of life. Being the good wife that she is, Elisheva confronted Ben about his new attitude, Ben quickly denied that he was neglecting Torah and blamed his dwindling interest in learning on his lack of time to study due to the fact that they had moved to a more expensive area and that he needs to focus on maintaining their new expenses.
Elisheva listened to him and then reminded him of something that he had asked of her before they were married, which was to always support his study of Torah even if it was difficult for her at times because she may feel lonely every once in a while and wish to spend more time with him. He told her that if she wanted to be with him that she must understand that Hashem comes before anything or anyone. Ben told her that he remembered telling her that, but again insisted that he wasn't neglecting his studies and to just give him time to situate himself.
Time went by and Ben became less and less interested in his studies. He kept letting go of his "stick."
At work one day Ben was fine tuning some strategies on a major deal with a very high profile company. It was to be the merger of all mergers. As Ben was gathering his paperwork together for his meeting, a paper slipped out of his briefcase that wasn't attached to any of the files. It was a drawing with a note on it from his youngest son Joshua. It said simply Dear Dad, I love you. Joshua.
Ben held the drawing for a few a few moments gazing at the picture Joshua drew of his family standing in the garden of their old house, and then slipped it back into his briefcase. The meeting started. Ben pitched his proposal to the other company and used his best businessman negations to win them over. A few days later Ben was called into a meeting regarding an update on the possible merger negotiation. At that point he received word that the merger was a no go. He was devastated. He was counting on this merger for about a year and had truly believed it was a sure thing. He started to worry about how he would be able to support his family now that they had moved to the new house, how could keep up in the new higher end neighborhood. He went home that night and told Elisheva what had happened at work, he told her that because of this unexpected setback, that they would most likely have to sell the house and move to smaller one. Elisheva understood. The next day, Ben went to his office and called the real estate agent to make an appointment for them to look at the house and put it on the market for sale. That night, before going home, he passed by the local eatery to grab a bite to eat, and think about what had happened in the past week. As he was leaving one of the Rabbis from a nearby Synagogue came in and was asking if anyone would be able to join a minion, that they were short one person. Ben, being the kind of person who would always help out, said of course and went with the man. The minion lasted longer than Ben expected and he was very tired. He had to walk home about ten blocks and it was now dark out and it had gotten much colder outside.
Ben asked if anyone was going in his direction and the Rabbi who asked him to join the minion offered him a ride home.
As they drove to Ben's house the Rabbi made small talk and the asked what line of work Ben was in. He told him he told him he was a was a contract negotiator for the firm he worked for. He then told the man that he was rethinking his career. The Rabbi stopped at a red light and looked at Ben, he asked him why he would do such a thing. Ben told him briefly what had happened with the merger situation and how he'd most likely have to sell his house and move to a smaller one. The Rabbi then asked Ben where his stick was. Ben said I don't have a stick. By then they had reached Ben's house, Ben thanked the Rabbi for the ride and they both went on their ways. As he was getting settled into his bed for the night, Ben wondered why the Rabbi asked him where his stick was. He just didn't understand.
A few days later when the real estate agent came by the house to take a look at the house and evaluate it's worth, she informed Ben that at the current market value would most likely be less than what he had invested into the house. She told him that it wasn't that the house was cheap or anything, but that right now is not the most opportune time to sell. Ben felt as though his whole world was crumbling and all that he had worked for was falling apart.
That night after doing some paperwork in his office, Ben called Elisheva in and sat her down to talk about their current financial situation and the sacrifices they would have to face. She listened and then she reminded him that with all his business dealings, negotiations, and new materialistic narrow- mindedness that he had been neglecting his Torah Studies. She asked him if he felt different lately, he thought for a minute and as he was thinking he noticed the picture Joshua had drew. It was still in his briefcase and was sticking out of some of the papers, he held it. At that moment Ben realized what the Rabbi from the minion had meant when he asked him where his stick was. He understood that his stick was his faith in Hashem and that by neglecting his Torah studies and focusing more on the materialistic world he was throwing his stick down. When he saw that Elisheva had always been there to support him as he had asked of her so long ago, and that Joshua loved him even when they did not have the big fancy house, he was able to find his stick. Never again did Ben let go of his stick or lose it by throwing it down to reach for materialistic goals.
As we see here in this story we learn that when we let go as Ben did, our stick turns to a snake and our evil inclination tries to take over us. We must grab hold of our stick and to our faith in Hashem. When holding on to our faith we find all the answers and help that we need.
