Bumper Stickers
Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar
territory.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't
have film.
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most
of it.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those
who don't.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel
universe.
He's not dead, He's electroencephalographically
challenged.
She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the
June Flower.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything
you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without
sponges.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Pardon my driving, I am reloading.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how
it remains so popular?
Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented
fool.
Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find
a rock.
A day without sun shine is like, you know, night.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine.
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"The gene pool could use a little chlorine."
"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food
chain to be a vegetarian."
"Your kid may be an honor student, but you're
still an IDIOT."
"I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
"Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
Drink 'til she's cute, but stop before the wedding
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked
into jet engines
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse
gets the cheese
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
I intend to live forever -- so far, so good
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good
gravy
If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard
enough!
Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In
37 States
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff are made of
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some
people have
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the
wrong lane.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough
sense to be lazy.
Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over
you.
If everything seems to be going well, you have
obviously overlooked something.
Many people quit looking for work when they find
a job.
Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal
desire.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets
pretty crowded.
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my
hard disk?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept
falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your
horn louder.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Join the Army, go to exotic places, meet interesting
people, kill them.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare
arms!
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened,
small stain.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my
hand.
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes
got stuck in my nose.
