40 SIGNS THAT YOU'RE
OVER THE HILL 1. You're sitting on a park bench, and
a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs. 2. You keep repeating yourself. 3. Lawn care has become a big highlight
of your life. 4. You tune into the easy listening station...
on purpose. 5. You light the candles on your birthday
cake, and a group of campers form a circle and start singing "Kumbaya." 6. Someone compliments you on your layered
look... and you're wearing a bikini. 7. You keep repeating yourself. 8. You start video taping daytime game
shows. 9. You wonder why you waited so long to
take up macrame. 10. Your insurance company has started
sending you their free calendar... a month at a time. 11. At cafeterias, you complain that the
gelatin is too tough. 12. Your new easy chair has more options
than your car. 13. When you do the "Hokey Pokey" you put
your left hip out... and it stays out. 14. One of the throw pillows on your bed
is a hot water bottle. 15. Conversations with people your own
age often turn into "dueling ailments." 16. You keep repeating yourself. 17. It takes a couple of tries to get over
a speed bump. 18. You discover the words, "whippersnapper," "scalawag," and "by-cracky" creeping
into your vocabulary. 19. You're on a TV game show and you decide
to risk it all and go for the rocker. 20. You begin every other sentence
with, "Nowadays..." 21. You run out of breath walking DOWN
a flight of stairs. 22. You look both ways before crossing
a room. 23. You keep repeating yourself. 24. You come to the conclusion that your
worst enemy is gravity. 25. You go to a garden party and you're
mainly interested in the garden. 26. The waiter asks how you'd like your
steak... and you say "pureed." 27. You start beating everyone else at
trivia games. 28. You frequently find yourself telling
people what a loaf of bread USED to cost. 29. Your back goes out more than
you do. 30. You keep repeating yourself. 31. You refer to your $2500 stereo system
as "the hi-fi." 32. You make it a point to attend all the
RV shows that come to town. 33. You realize that a stamp today costs
more than a picture show did when you were growing up. 34. Your childhood toys are now
in a museum. 35. Many of your co-workers were born the
same year that you got your last promotion. 36. The clothes you've put away until they
come back in style... come back in style. 37. All of your favorite movies are now
colorozed and re-released. 38. The car that you bought brand new becomes
an antique. 39. You keep repeating yourself repeating
yourself. 40. You find this list tasteless
and insensitive.
