harry leichter's funny stuff

Jokes 21
Two Digits
Shaggy Dog
Dog Wash
Don't Despair Amish Family Man / Woman Math Lesson
Answering Machine
Joe had asked Bob
Darwin Awards
Remember...these Jokes are only old if you've heard them before...

1998 Darwin Awards Honorable Mentions
AUGUSTA, ME - Four people were injured in a string of bizarre accidents.
Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by flying masonry, Jim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash and contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan Corcoran suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick's first two fingers of her right hand had been bitten off. Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day of work and, in addition to a good-bye kiss, she flashed her breasts at him. "I'm still not sure why I did it," she said later. "I was really close to the car, so I didn't think anyone would see. Besides, it couldn't have been for more than two seconds. However, cab driver Vegas did see, and lost control of his cab, running over the curb and into the corner of the Johnson Medical Building. Inside, Klesick, a dental technician, was cleaning Corcoran's teeth. The crash of the cab against the building made her jump, tearing Corcoran's gums with a cleaning pick. In shock, he bit down, severing two fingers from Klesick's hand. Moeller's wound was caused by a falling piece of the medical building.
    TAOS, NM - A woman went to a poison control center after eating three birth-control vaginal inserts. Her English was so bad she had to draw a picture describing how she believed she had poisoned herself. A translator arrived shortly thereafter and confirmed doctors' suspicions.
Marie Valishnokov thought the inserts were some kind of candy or gum, being unable to read the foil wrappers. After the third one, she realized something was wrong when her throat and mouth began to fill with a sour-tasting foam. She ran for the Poison Control Center, only a few blocks away where doctors were able to flush the foam from her mouth, throat and stomach with no ill effects.
    TACOMA, WA - Kerry Bingham, had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated, until at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 a.m. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of cable had been left near the railing. Bingham's friends tied one end to his leg and the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say," said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.
    On February 3, 1990, a Renton, Washington man tried to commit a robbery.
This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by the fact that he had no previous record of violent crime, and by his terminally stupid choices as listed below:
1. The target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a gun shop;
2. The shop was full of customers, in a state where a substantial portion of the adult population is licensed to carry concealed handguns in public places;
3. To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked Police patrol car parked at the front door;
4. An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter, having coffee before reporting to duty. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and fired a few wild shots. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, removing him from the gene pool. Several other customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire. No one else was hurt.
    MOSCOW, RUSSIA -A drunk security man asked a colleague at the Moscow bank they were guarding to stab his bullet-proof vest to see if it would protect him against a knife attack. It didn't, and the 25-year-old guard died of a heart wound.
(It's good to see the Russians getting into the spirit of the Darwin Awards.)
    In France, Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decided to commit suicide. He stood at the top of a tall cliff and tied a noose around his neck. He tied the other end of the rope to a large rock. He drank some poison and set fire to his clothes. He even tried to shoot himself at the last moment. He jumped and fired the pistol. The bullet missed him completely and cut through the rope above him. Free of the threat of hanging, he plunged into the sea. The sudden dunking extinguished the flames and made him vomit the poison. He was dragged out of the water by a kind fisherman and was taken to a hospital, where he died ... of hypothermia.
    And the winner is:
Japan Times-April 16, 1997 "The government must crack down on this disgusting craze of "Pumping", a spokesman for the Nakhon Ratchasima hospital told reporters. "If this perversion catches on, it will destroy the cream of Thailand's manhood." He was speaking after the remains of 13 year-old Charnchai Puanmuangpak had been rushed into the hospital's emergency room. "Most 'Pumpers' use a standard bicycle pump," he explained, "inserting the nozzle far up their rectum, giving themselves a rush of air, creating a momentary high. This act is a sin against God." Charnchai took it further still. He started using a two-cylinder foot pump, but even that wasn't exciting enough for him, and he boasted to friends that he was going to try the compressed air hose at a nearby gasoline station. They dared him to do it, so, under cover of darkness, he snuck in. Not realizing how powerful the machine was, he inserted the tube deep into his rectum, and placed a coin in the slot. As a result, he died virtually instantly, but passers-by are still in shock. One woman thought she was watching a twilight fireworks display, and started clapping. "We still haven't located all of him.", say the police authorities. "When that quantity of air interacted with the gas in his system, he nearly exploded. It was like a bomb went off or something." "Pumping is the devil's pastime, and we must all say no to Satan," Ratchasima concluded. "Inflate your tires by all means, but then hide your bicycle pump where it cannot tempt you." Let's hear it for Charnchai Puanmuangpak, the NEW 1998 undisputed Darwin Awards recipient!
top of page

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
 A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
 A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
 A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little.
 To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die.
6. Any married man should forget his mistakes -
there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
 A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.
9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
10. There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage & after marriage.
top of page

Brandon, Troy, and Kevin who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit.
 All three men went their separate ways to gather the fruit. Brandon came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples". The king explained the trial to him, "You have to shove the fruit up your butt without any expression on your face, or you'll be eaten."
 The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
 Troy arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy.
1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
 Brandon and Troy met in heaven. Brandon asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it!" Troy replied, "I couldn't help it, I looked up and saw Kevin coming back with pineapples."
top of page

Two Digits for a Date  (to the tune of "Gilligan's Island," more or less)
     Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
    Of the doom that is our fate.
    That started when programmers used
    Two digits for a date.
    Two digits for a date.

    Main mem-o-ry was smaller then;
    Hard disks were smaller, too.
    "Four digits are extravagant,
    So let's get by with two.
    So let's get by with two."

    "This works through 1999,"
    The programmers did say.
    "Unless we rewrite before that
    It all will go away.
    It all will go away."

    But Management had not a clue:
    "It works fine now, you bet!
    A rewrite is a straight expense;
    We won't do it just yet.
    We won't do it just yet."

    Now when 2000 rolls around
    It all goes straight to hell,
    For zero's less than ninety-nine,
    As anyone can tell.
    As anyone can tell.

    The mail won't bring your pension check
   It won't be sent to you
    When you're no longer sixty-eight,
    But minus thirty-two.
    But minus thirty-two.

    The problems we're about to face
    Are frightening, for sure.
    And reading every line of code's
    The only certain cure.
    The only certain cure.

    [key change, big finish]

    There's not much time,
    There's too much code.
    (And Cobol-coders, few)
    When the century is finished with,
    We may be finished, too.
    We may be finished, too.

    Eight thousand years from now I hope
    That things weren't left too late,
    And people aren't then lamenting
    Four digits for a date.
    Four digits for a date.
top of page

This guy is in a bar, just looking at his drink, he stays like that for half-an-hour, or so, then, this big burly trouble-maker of a truck driver comes and sits next to him, and drinks what the guy was staring at. The poor man starts crying.
The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink.
I just can't see a grown man crying."
"No, that's not it, says the guy, "This day has been the worst day of my life. First, I oversleep cause my alarm doesn't go off, and I get to work late. My boss is outraged and he fires me. When I leave the building, to get to my car, I find it was stolen, and the police say they can do nothing
about it. I get a cab to go home, and remember I left my wallet and credit cards at the house. The cab driver takes off without me. I walk the six miles to home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the mailman. I grab my wallet and come to this bar, and when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.
top of page

A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, "I had an affair with a woman - almost." The priest says, "What do you mean, 'almost'?"  The man says, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."
 The priest replies, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in.  You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box." The man leaves confessional, goes over and says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave.  The priest, who was watching him, quickly runs over to him and says, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"   The man replied, "Well, Father, I rubbed up against it and you said that was the same as putting it in!"
top of page

Dog Wash
A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner "Mom & Pop" grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent.
The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
"Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog."
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him."
But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.
About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.    "Oh, he died," the boy said.
 The grocer, trying not to be an I-told-you-so, said he was sorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog."
 "Well," the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him."
 "Oh? What was it then?"
 "I think it was the spin cycle!"
top of page

Actual Answering Machine answers recorded and verified by the world famous International Institute of Answering Machine Answers.....

 A is for Academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here.

 My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

 Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

 Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushiing our teeth we'll get back to you.

 Hi. My answering machine is broken. This is the refrigerator. Please speak slowly and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

 Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.

 Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their pictures taken. If you're still with me, leave you name and number and they will get back to you.

 Hi. I am probably home, but I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

 If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave a message.

 You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of "your" voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remem
top of page

Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight over to Joe's place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work. When it was time for supper, he complimented his wife on her cooking, kissed her and told her how much he loved her. Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe that he was surprised that he fussed so much over his wife. Joe said that he'd started this about 6 months ago, it had revived their marriage, and things couldn't be better. Bob thought he'd give it a go. When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her. His wife burst into tears. Bob was confused and asked why she was crying. She said, "This is the worst day of my life. First, little Billy fell off his bike and twisted his ankle. Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. And now, you come home drunk!"
top of page

An Amish Family Comes to Tysons
An Amish boy and his father were visiting The Galleria at Tysons II. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as the woman moved higher and higher to the next level of the mall. Then they saw the walls open and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, "Go get your mother."
top of page

These are new computer viruses that are coming out so be careful.
Freudian VirusYour computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard.
Lorena Bobbit Virus turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy
Tonya Harding Virus turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons
Paul Revere Virus warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\
Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus instantly turns 1K of disk space into 1 Meg
Ollie North Virus plays a patriotic .WAV while it shreds your files
Joey Buttafuaco Virus only attacks minor files
Ronald Reagan Virus saves your data, but forgets where it's stored
Jane Fonda Virus attacks your hard drive's FAT
Oprah Winfrey virus Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB
AT&T Virus Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI Virus Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus Politically Correct Virus Never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."
Ross Perot Virus Activates every component in your system, just before the whole darn thing quits.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back
Government Economist Virus Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine
Federal Beaurocrat Virus Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer
Adam and Eve Virus Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer
Congressional Virus #1 The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem
Congressional Virus #2 Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't allow
the user to accomplish anything
Airline Virus You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore
PBS Virus Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money
Jimmy Hoffa Virus Your programs can never be found again
LAPD Virus It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self-defense."
O.J. Virus It claims that it did not, could not and would not delete two of your files and vows to find the virus that did it.
top of page

Groaner of the week
 A man went to his dentist to have a new dental plate made. But he returned several weeks later with a complaint. He said he had been eating Hollandaise sauce and his dental plate actually disintegrated inside his mouth. The dentist said he would make him a brandnew plate, but this time it would be made of chrome. The man said he had never heard of a dental plate make of chrome. and the dentist replied, "There's no plate like chrome for the  Hollandaise...
top of page

A Math Lesson
Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything--tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short everything that they could think of. Finally, in a last-ditch effort, they took Tommy down and enrolled him in the local Catholic School. After the first day, little Tommy came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and paper were spread out all over the room and Little Tommy was hard at work. His mother was amazed.
She called him down to dinner and, to her shock and amazement, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word and in no time he was back hitting the books as hard as before.  This went on for some time, day after day, while the Mother tried to understand what had made all the difference. Finally, little Tommy brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table and went up to his room and hit the books.
With great trepidation, his mom looked at it and, to her surprise, little Tommy had gotten an A in Math. She could no longer contain her curiosity. She went to his room and said, "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?"  Little Tommy looked at her and shook his head.  "Well then," She persisted, "was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms, WHAT was it??"
Little Tommy looked at her and said, "Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around."
top of page

A number of years ago, the Seattle Symphony was going to perform Beethoven's Ninth. At this point, you must understand two things: (1) There's a long segment in this symphony where the bass violins don't have a thing to do. Not a single note for page after page. (2) There used to be a
tavern right across the street from the Seattle Opera House, rather favored by local musicians.
It had been decided that during this performance, after the bass players had played their parts in the opening of the Ninth, they were to quietly lay down their instruments and leave the stage rather than sit on their stools looking and feeling dumb for twenty minutes. Well, once they got
backstage, someone suggested that they trot across the street and quaff a few brews. After they had downed the first couple rounds, one said, "Shouldn't we be getting back? It'd be awfully embarrassing if we were late." Another, presumably the one who suggested this excursion in the first place, replied, "Oh, I anticipated we could use a little more time, so I tied a string around the last pages of the conductor's score. When he gets down to there, Milton's going to have to slow the tempo way down while he waves the baton with one hand and fumbles with the string with the other." So they had another round and finally returned to the Opera House, a little tipsy by now. However, as they came back on stage, one look at their conductor's face told them they were in serious trouble. The condutor was furious! After all... It was the bottom of the Ninth, the score was tied, and the basses were loaded.
top of page

The Affair
 A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where  they made passionate love all afternoon.

 Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, not awakening until around eight PM.

 As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt.

 Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and flew home.

 Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.

 "Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my SECRETARY AND WE'VE BEEN HAVING SEX ALL AFTERNOON. I FELL ASLEEP and didn't wake up until eight o'clock!"

 The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard!
top of page

Don Meyer
Imagine if instead of cryptic, geeky text strings, your computer produced error messages in haiku... A file that big?  It might be very useful. But now it is gone.
The Web site you seek cannot be located but endless others exist
Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.
ABORTED effort: Close all that you have. You ask way too much.
First snow, then silence. This thousand dollar screen dies so beautifully.
With searching comes loss and the presence of absence: "My Novel" not found.
The Tao that is seen Is not the true Tao, until You bring fresh toner.
Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.
Stay the patient course Of little worth is your ire The network is down
A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone.
Yesterday it worked Today it is not working Windows is like that.
Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred.
You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here.
Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, But we never will.
Having been erased, The document you're seeking Must now be retyped.
Rather than a beep Or a rude error message, These words: "File not found."
Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank
top of page

Shaggy Dog stories
 An old man lived with his hound-dog, Mace, in a run-down shack on the outskirts of town.
He had no family and only a few meager possessions: table and chair, a bed, a bag of hand tools, and his dog. He used the tools to do odd jobs in town, for which he usually would be paid enough to get food for the next day. Mace and his master lived from one day to the next on what little these jobs would bring in. The dog was just a normal hound, with one exception: while most dogs like to chew on grass occasionally, Mace loved it. When the old man was in town, Mace would spend the day in the yard in front of the house, chewing away on the lawn.

 One bright, sunny day the old man said goodbye to his dog and headed into town to work. He had a plumbing repair job in one of the homes there that would take him most of the day and would probably pay enough for food for the remainder of the week, if he managed the money carefully.  He headed for town with a spring in his step and a whistle on his lips.  Inside the house and ready to start, the old man reached in the bag for his wrench. To his surprise, he didn't feel it. He dug around again,  but there didn't seem to be any wrench. He looked in the bag, then  dumped its contents on the floor, but still no wrench. Reality set in. Without a wrench he couldn't finish the job, and without the pay he couldn't even buy food for that night's supper, let alone for tomorrow.  When he finally came to grips with reality, he told the lady who hired him what the situation was. While she sympathized with his situation, the job needed to be done. If the old man couldn't do it, she would have to hire someone else.

 The old man packed up his tools and headed home, head bowed and shoulders stooped. The whistle was gone and no longer was there a spring in his step. A walk that normally took 15 minutes seemed to last forever.  But finally the old shack came into view, and there was Mace in the distance, munching away as usual on the lawn. When the dog saw his master, he came running, tail wagging, telling the old man how glad he was to see him.

 Kneeling beside the hound, the man began to pet him, and through tear-filled eyes told the dog that there would be no supper tonight and no food for tomorrow. What's more, without money to buy a new wrench, he had no idea what the future held. It was the loneliest, most helpless feeling he ever had!

 Then he caught a glimpse of something shining in the grass. As the old man went over to see what this piece of shining material was, his despair turned in an instant to joy! It was the wrench! The old man had dropped it on his way out that morning, and it would have been lost forever had Mace not been eating farther away from the house than he usually did!

 The old man grabbed the dog, gave him a hug that almost suffocated him, and ran into the house. Reaching for a stub of pencil and the only piece of paper he had, he wrote a moving tribute to his canine companion.

 Few people have ever heard these words -- until now, that is. One man who did happen to read them changed them a bit, and has his name recorded in music history. The old man never did get the credit he deserved. But, now you are privileged to read the opening line of his original poem, which began: "A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound that saved a wrench for me."
top of page

A Texan, a New Yorker, and a Vermonter were drinking their favorite beverage in a bar. The Texan drained his glass of tequila, threw the half full bottle up in the air, drew and fired his pistol, shattering the bottle. The other two were shocked at his ruining perfectly good tequila. The Texan however, simply drew himself up and announced:  "Where I come from, we have plenty of tequila."

 The New Yorker, not to be outdone, drained his glass of wine, threw the wine bottle into the air, drew and fired his pistol, also shattering his bottle. Looking over at the other two with an air of superiority, he announced, "Where I come from, we have plenty of fine wine and the best of everything!"

 The Vermonter drained his bottle of Catamount beer, threw it up in the air, drew his deer rifle, and shot the New Yorker dead. He then caught the bottle on the way down and showed it to the Texan: "Where I come from," he said, "we recycle these... and we have plenty of New Yorkers."
top of page

Don't Despair
Sitting by the window of her convent, Sister Barbara opened a letter from home one evening. Inside the letter was a $100 bill her parents had sent.
Sister Barbara smiled at the gesture. As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below.

Quickly, she wrote, "Don't despair. Sister Barbara," on a piece of paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, got the man's attention and tossed it out the window to him. The stranger picked it up, and with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street. The next day, Sister Barbara was told that a man was at her door, insisting on seeing her. She went down, and found the stranger waiting.

Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills. "What's this?" she asked. "That's the $8,000 you have coming Sister," he replied. "Don't Despair paid 80-to-1."

top of this page back to the Jokes homepage
fuse bomb
Site Designed and Maintained by
Haruth Communications

eXTReMe Tracker